Little By Little We Grow: How The Phone Stayed Home

Phone in hands

I don’t know which was the bigger miracle—my question or his answer.

Miracles Never Cease

The first title of this post was “Miracles Never Cease: How The Phone Stayed Home.”

It was an amazing, soaring short story about how a son who so loved his phone willingly agreed to leave it at home for a weekend youth retreat. The climax of the story was the part when the prone to over-control mom—after days and days of praying and pondering and asking her friends to ponder and pray— stunned herself.

How’s that? you wonder.

Believe it or not, it happened when she asked the son in a voice so open and gentle that it surprised her own ears,

So, what would you think of leaving your phone home this weekend?

That open-ended meek question was miracle #1. If you knew the Mom you’d marvel.

But then on the heels of #1 comes miracle #2.

That’d be okay.

That’s it. That’s what the son said without hesitation, protest or reservation. Two miracles right in a row. That would have been the post. It’s what I had written at 10 pm last Sunday night.

A JoyPrO about two amazing Spirit-controlled actions of a mother and son. Tied with a bow. Happily ever after. The end.

Then along came 11 pm.

How One Phone Stayed Home

When in a too-rare flurry of mother-son affection, the mother decided to sneak into the sleeping teen’s room to plant a kiss on his forehead. That was her plan.

So she stole in to where he lay—wide awake with earbuds in and spare phone in hand. And off came the bow.

Did you sneak this phone on the retreat?

Yes, he nodded. I did. But I hardly used it, he added, handing off the hot phone.

But there was more. Two words from this son the mother so hungers for,

I’m sorry.

It was late and he was caught red-handed. But this time, she believed him. Because little by little we grow. And little by little we change.

Because it’s little by little that we drive out the enemies of our soul.

Little By Little

Please stick with me. Because these couple of verses in an obscure chapter of Exodus have a lot to do with snuck phones and with how all Christians grow. With how I learn to ask not force, with how I learn to resist self-pity and give thanks, with how I train myself to get to bed before eleven. Little by little.

Here’s the background. The Israelites were fresh out of Egypt on their way to the Promised Land. But the Promised land was occupied—by the -ite peoples—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites. These were strong nations.

But not so strong that the God who’d just split the Red Sea and closed it on Pharaoh’s chariots could have destroyed them all at once.

But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you.  Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land. I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River. I will give into your hands the people who live in the land, and you will drive them out before you. (Exodus 23:29-31, NIV)

Little by little I will drive them out. And you will drive them out too.

I Will, You Will

In a message on Exodus 23, Kevin DeYoung explains how those three little verses describe the whole of Christian life, of Christian growth. You drive them out, I drive them out. That is how we grow.

Did you see that? In verse 30, “I will drive them out.” In verse 31, “You will drive them out.” That’s how it is with sanctification, with the process of becoming more like Jesus. We work out our salvation, for God works in us to will and act. God is doing the work. At the same time, he tells us to get to get to work (Philippians 2:12-13).

DeYoung sums up Christian growth this way: Victory comes from God, victory takes work, and victory comes little by little.

God works in you, so you work. Growth happens little by little, change comes from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18). Degrees. Little by little degrees. The son didn’t take his phone but he snuck another. The mom held her tongue two times, but not the third. By degree. Victory comes little by little, when we work because God is at work.

Perpetual Vigilance, Constant Dependence

Don’t despise the day of small things. I wrote about that with the same phone-sneaking son 6 years ago. Screen time and sneaking have been issues for a decade. And truth be told, overbearing and controlling have been too. And after those two miracles the night before the retreat, I was so hungry for growth. I was hungry for victory and freedom in his life— so hungry I could almost taste victory.

And sometimes God works his power in our lives in an instant. He removes a desire or heals a cancer or creates a life. All of a sudden he does it and completely he does it.

But more often, we see his work little by little. Transformation comes slowly. Today may not feel like a success, but over time we could see growth.

Little by little the Israelites would drive out their enemies. Bit by bit, rather than in an instant, would keep them from getting sluggish and overconfident. And it would keep the wild beasts from multiplying in the unpopulated land.

Thus too in our spiritual warfare, it is no doubt ordained for our highest good that our corruptions should be subdued, not all at once, but by little and little; that our old man should be crucified gradually. This keeps us in an attitude of perpetual vigilance, and reminds of our constant dependence upon God, who alone giveth us the victory. (G. Bush)

And when you think about it, what could be better this side of heaven than to fully rely on God?

Little By Little We Grow

Israel was promised a bountiful land, but we are promised an abundant life (John 10:10). Not easy life, but abundant life.

And as the LORD drove out their enemies and Israel drove out their enemies, so too we are called to fight the good fight of faith and to make every effort to grow. Knowing that while we prepare our horses and make our plans every victory comes from the Lord.

So I was going to end the first post, the happy bow post before I learned about the stolen phone, with Ephesians 3 verse 20. But then I scrapped it. Because that’s a powerful victory verse and we’d had a setback.

But as I think about it, to stay the course and drive out our enemies little by little takes massive power within us, too. And it’s at work in the son and me.

So I think I still will.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

according to his power that is at work within us

Ephesians 3:20

Why I Pray about Little Things, even Dirty Dishes

Dishwasher open
Answered little-thing prayer.

Should we bother to pray about the little things? You know, for lost cats and clear skies and skinned knees?

Why should we pray for things that don’t seem to have a tight connection to spiritual growth, which we know is our greatest goal. Because, after all, great praying saints like Paul prayed far more for big things like inner strength than for relief from little circumstantial things.

So why would we pray for little things like broken dishwashers and dirty dishes?

Dirty Dishes

The party was over, the guests had gone home. The table was cleared and the counters were clean. And the dishwasher was filled to the gill with table service for 13.

But then, at 10:45 Friday night, with a rinse barely long enough to loosen shreds of beef and traces of greens, it stopped. A red OE showed up and it did its little dingy thing and five minutes into the cycle it quit. Barely into its fourth run, our brand new dishwasher was done.

What’s a girl to do when the dishwasher won’t wash? (Pray?)

Well, I read the owner’s manual. OE, it said, means “Not Draining Error.” So I opened the door and, sure enough, gray water surrounded the drain.

What’s a girl to do when the dishwasher won’t wash? (Pray?)

Troubleshooting

Rinse the filter was the obvious first step. But the stagnant pool remained. So it wouldn’t wash because it it wouldn’t drain.

What’s a girl to do when the dishwasher won’t wash? (Pray?)

I read the next steps: Clean the disposal or air gap. Inspect the drain hoses for kinks. I sighed. We have no disposal and where’s the air gap? And how would an out-of-sight hose suddenly kink?

Still, I turned the kitchen sink faucet off and on and on and off and swished the dirty dishwasher for good measure. Then I closed the door and pressed start, again. It didn’t.

What’s a girl to do when the dishwasher won’t wash? (Pray?)

Hon? I called to Jim, The dishwasher won’t drain. I know you can fix it. Will you please try? By now it was after 11. I trusted my handyman husband, and I went to bed.

Still Dirty

Morning broke bright but the dishes were still dirty and gray water was still undrained.

What’s a girl to do when the dishwasher won’t wash? (Pray?)

I hurried out for my jog before a track meet that would mean a full day away. When we got home, I beelined to the dishwasher. But I knew- the nose knows- even before I opened the door that Jim couldn’t fix it.

What’s a girl to do when the dishwasher won’t wash? (Pray?)

He got home and after we ate, I unleashed my best pep talk: You can fix anything, Hon. You’re so good at figuring these things out. Can you please try again?

What’s a Girl to Do?

But Jim was weary- he had a lot on his plate. More, in fact, than those ripening in the dishwasher: a broken kitchen sink faucet he’d already replaced twice this month, an air conditioner that wouldn’t cool, and plugged gutters to boot.

He sighed and opened the manual, again. Then he took out the filter, again. And sighed, again- and walked away. I did those dinner dishes by hand.

After all, what’s a girl to do when the dishwasher won’t wash? (Pray?)

The smell of the that load filled the kitchen each time the door was opened. And I knew these greasy old dishes were truly small potatoes. But it sure would be a gift this new dishwasher of ours could make them clean.

Then I knew- what a girl’s to do when the dishwasher won’t wash.

I Called

Pray.

Jim was sitting at the table sorting through his mail and the boys were already in bed when I walked over. Hon, I announced, I think we need to pray.

So pray we did. Father God, would you please help Jim figure this out? Would you please give him insight to drain that water so the dishes can get washed? Please open his eyes to see what’s wrong. And we’ll give you all the thanks and all the glory. Amen.

Then I went to bed with a broken dishwasher full of dirty, stinking dishes.

He Answered

I started the coffee Sunday morning, then walked three steps to the dishwasher. I winced as I pulled open the dishwasher.

The dishes were clean. The water was drained. God had fixed the dishwasher. And I had never been happier to unload a dishwasher.

How the Dishes got Washed

So that’s how the dishes got washed. I prayed, God answered. In a way the details don’t matter, but in a way they do. God fixed it. But he did so by answering my prayer, by giving Jim insight late Saturday night.

Turns out that the drain stop in the kitchen sink needs to be lifted to run this new dishwasher. If it’s down, the water won’t drain and in seconds the dishwasher quits. Jim was just poking around and, on a lark, pulled up the drain stop in the little sink. And that was the fix.

But, would God have done it anyway? I mean, if I hadn’t prayed on Saturday night, would Jim have had the insight to lift the drain in the little left side sink? Maybe. Or would we have paid a repairman to tell us to lift the drain stop sinks full of dishes later? We’ll never know.

But I do know I’m glad I prayed for this little thing.

Steering Wheel Or Spare Tire?

I do know that, once again, I called, he answered, and my strength of soul he increased (Psalm 138:3). I do know that I called to him in the night of trouble, and he delivered me(Psalm 51:15). And I know I will cast my cares on him because he really does care for me (1 Peter 5:7).

So now I ask again: Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire? I mean, are your hands on it always- even in little broken dishwasher troubles- or only when you’re stuck with a flat on the side of the road?

Can you think of anything that is big to God?

So why again, do I pray for little things?

A woman once approached the British preacher G. Campbell Morgan and asked, “Do you think we should pray for even the little things in our lives, or just the big things?” He answered, “Madam, can you think of anything in your life that is big to God?”

That’s answer #1. Because really is there any truly “big” thing with God? With the God who spoke and the worlds came to be, for whom the nations are like a drop in the bucket, who enabled a virgin to conceive?

Now here are reasons #2 and #3- We pray for “even the little things” because it opens us up to a double grace. God gets the glory and thanks, because the giver gets the glory. And, we get the joy of feeling as if we had a role in it. God instituted prayer, Pascal said, in order to lend to His creatures the dignity of causality.

(Not) Impossible, So Pray

God gets us into impossible situations- situations we can’t fix by ourselves- take Abraham and Sarah, or the Exodus from Egypt, or Elisha surrounded by the enemy, even little things like dishwashers that won’t drain- to display his power and goodness. In other words, to reveal his glory.

So pray. Pray, pray, pray, pray. For big things and little things, pray. For his glory. And because our God cares about little things.

Because just maybe, to Him, all things are little things. And because He is able.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21