The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life…
My last blog post left some lingering questions, like: Don’t we feed off praise? Don’t we need to be affirmed? Shouldn’t we praise people? One reader bared her soul and asked, What if you come from a place where words didn’t nourish, and praise was rare, can you be starved for praise?
The last post was written to us who crave man’s praise. It stemmed from Jesus’ warning to the Pharisees- a warning to all who would seek man’s praise even over God’s: How can you believe when you love glory from man and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?
The Case For (People) Praise
But this post is for praise-givers. For us. All of us. Because we’re all called to praise-God first, then people. Yes-I did say, We’re called to praise people. Please don’t whip out the blasphemy flag yet.
Not praising the good is bad. Tight lips in sight of others’ good is a double failure. We fail to honor God and to bless others. Our mouths were given by God to refresh and feed and heal. When we hold back our praise we starve our brothers and sisters. This should not be. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. Righteous lips feed many.
Sam Crabtree explains how to praise rightly, how to praise in a God-centered way. We praise people,
[F]or being godly, for being Christlike, by commending them for God’s glory, applauding them for doing something good in the strength God supplies (1 Peter 4:11). This is how we complete the loop when Jesus teaches us that people should let their lights so shine that others see their good works . . . and what? Glorify their Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16).
Crabtree goes so far as to say that when we fail to pause and observe and verbalize the good we see in the lives around us, we fail to give God the glory he deserves. Them’s strong words.
3 Right Reasons To Praise
2. We praise people because we want to encourage others in doing good. What is praised gets repeated. Which might be why the kid who is starved for praise at home and school goes to the gang for applause. When we praise the good we see in others, as echoes and reflections of Jesus Christ himself, people are affirmed. They feel loved and fed. And odds are they’ll seek to repeat that good.
3. We praise people because praising the good in others brings us joy and renews us. We become sensitized to see the good, and our minds are renewed. What’s more, we lift the morale and build relationships. All our relationships- at work and at home, in friendship and marriage- benefit when we shout out what’s good. Our mouths become fountains and out joy flows.
How To Do Praise Right
But beware of this wily wrong reason to praise.
Be Wary Of Flattery
Flattery is excessive or insincere praise given for the praiser’s own gain. Flattery is selfish. And it can hurt the receiver. Proverbs 26:28 says, “A flattering mouth works ruin.” How can praise a genuinely good thing in another without working their ruin? And how can we be sure we’re offering God-honoring praise and not flattering?
Here’s a straight answer from an Ask Pastor John podcast,
The issue is whether it is calculated to achieve some purpose that is not rooted in the authentic, spontaneous delight that we take in the virtue we are praising. It is the opposite of calculation. It is spontaneous. C.S. Lewis, in one of my favorite quotes, says, “We delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not only expresses, but completes the enjoyment. It is its appointed consummation.”
On the Look-Out for Praise Due
- When you see a friend’s attention to detail, commend it. Say, Wow! You were so thoughtful as you planned this lesson. Our God loves order, and you planned this so well.
- When you spot Sarah whose growing self-control said no, shout it out. Say, Way to go! I saw you pass up those treats for the joy ahead. The Spirit’s at work in you.
- When you see Pete persisting with the Jr. Highs at youth group, praise him. Say, You must have the patience of Job to let those 13 year olds pelt you with popcorn. God at work in you. Bravo!
- When you see your son kneel and help a kid who tripped and skinned his knee, affirm him. Say, Sam, I am so proud of how you are cared for Dan. That was like Jesus. He cares for you.
- When a niece tells the truth when it’s hard, shout it out. Say, Lucy, you acted like Jesus just now. You told the truth. Jesus was full of grace and truth. That was impressive.
What’s At Stake
If the praise with which we commend people is God-centered, it doesn’t subtract from the praise owed to God, but adds to it. In fact, the earnest desire to see God receive the praise he deserves will serve to increase the desire to praise people when they reflect his character.
What if we don’t affirm people when they reflect the work of God in them? God gets robbed of praise he deserves, and they fail to gain the encouragement that would be so motivating to them. Further, morale is drained, and we become presumptuous bad-tempered cranks who take God’s work for granted.
A lot is at stake in our praise. Let’s not rob God. And let’s not starve his body around us. All truth is God’s truth, and so is all goodness and beauty- so let’s call those out. Since all that is truly praiseworthy is in Christ, when we praise those qualities in people, we praise the God from whom all blessings flow.
Yes, yes and yes, readers- praise on. We are light-shining, image-bearers designed to reflect God’s glory and when we praise people rightly it honors God. Then from our mouths refreshing, life-giving fountains flow.