child-392971__340

“Grieve is a Love Word”

My last post was about a decisive question that can help us say no without guilt. That question was,

“Who are you willing to disappoint?”

I ended the post with a look at Mary and Martha through that clarifying lens and quoted Jon Bloom. Bloom drove the point home with this statement, Mary was more willing to disappoint Martha than to disappoint Jesus. 

Whoa dere, boy! We can disappoint Jesus?- the Son of God, and the second member of the Holy Trinity?  Little old me can disappoint Almighty God?

Maybe this is as clear to you as it was for my friend Peg. “Well,” she simply said, “if it’s possible to please God, it must be possible to displease him. So, yeah, we can disappoint God.”

Scripture makes that plain- that we definitely can please God. (See Col. 1:10, Rom. 12:1, 14:18, Col. 3:20, 1 Thess. 2:4, 1 Tim. 2:1-3, 5:4, Heb. 13:16, 1 John 3:22 for examples.)

In a nutshell, whenever we trust and obey God, he is pleased.

Can you make God sad?

But for many of us that line from Bloom about disappointing Jesus begs the question: Can we make God sad?

After all, Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases. And we know with Job that he can do all things; no purpose of his can be thwarted. He makes known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come.

To those who would argue that God can’t be grieved because he knew what was coming, I would say, Really? Just because I know a dear friend is losing a battle with cancer means I won’t grieve when I see her body wracked with pain and losing the fight? Really?

Knowing it’s coming doesn’t make it any less sad when it comes.

So is it possible to grieve an all-knowing, all-powerful, sovereign God?

I think so. Here’s why.

1. “Love does not equal unconditional affirmation.”

That’s what Kevin DeYoung says. It’s in the context of The Hole in our Holiness, in a chapter called “The Pleasure of God and the Possibility of Godliness.”

And I agree with DeYoung: We need to clear up the confusion about whether or not a forgiven, justified, reconciled, adopted, born-again believer can displease God.

DeYoung breaks it down,

The logic seems sound: “I am clothed in Christ’s righteousness. Nothing can separate me from the love of God. So no matter what I do, God sees me as his pure, spotless child.” It’s true there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:1), but this does not mean God will condone all our thoughts and behaviors.

Though in Christ he overlooks our sins in a judicial sense, he is not blind to them. 

For the record, affirmation means approval or validation. So, to paraphrase, God’s love for us does not mean that he approves or validates everything we do. Even believers can displease God. Scripture is clear about that. Our sins hide his face from us.

Discountenanced was born one sad night. But discountenanced does not mean unloved.

2. Discipline goes with displeasure and love.

DeYoung continues,

We can “grieve” the Holy Spirit of God (Eph. 4:30). Though God is always for us in Christ (Rom. 8:31-34), Christ can still have things against us (Rev. 2:4). The fact that God disciplines his children (Heb. 12:7) means that he can sometimes be displeased with them.

God gives consequences. Moses struck the rock. God didn’t affirm that choice. As a result, he couldn’t enter the Promised Land. Even though he talked with Moses as to a friend.

My sons have heard this more than once: I discipline you because I love you. That’s why I don’t make them eat their veggies and brush their teeth and practice piano. I don’t discipline them because I don’t love them like I love you.

So with God. If he didn’t love us, he wouldn’t notice our sin and he’d never discipline us. But Hebrews 12:8, If you are not disciplined you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 

No, love does not equal unconditional affirmation. 

3. His “For-us” Frown

Instead, DeYoung writes (p. 74),

Love entails the relentless pursuit of what is for our good. And our good is always growth in godliness. “Those whom I love,’ Jesus said to the church at Laodicea, “I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent” (Rev. 3:19).

Is that confusing? Maybe this will help. DeYoung explains,

Through faith we are joined to Christ and have union with him. That bond is unbreakable. Our union with Christ is an established fact, guaranteed for all eternity by the indwelling of the Spirit. When we sin, our union with Christ is not in jeopardy. But our communion is.

It is possible for believer to have more or less of God’s favor. It is possible for us to have sweet fellowship with God, and it’s possible to experience his frown- not a frown of judgment, but a “for us” frown that should spur us on to love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24).

I’ve been the giver and the receiver of “for us” frowns and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that behind that frown  is love.

The Westminster Confession of Faith (11.5) puts it this way,

Although they can never fall from the state of justification, yet they may, by their sins, fall under God’s fatherly displeasure, and not have the light of His countenance restored unto them, until they humble themselves, confess their sins, beg pardon, and renew their faith and repentance.

I hope this makes sense.

But why does it matter?

No Choke on Delight

Here’s one huge reason. DeYoung concludes it up this way (p. 74),

One of the main motivations for obedience is the pleasure of God. If we, in a well-intentioned effort to celebrate the unimpeachable nature of our justification, make it sound as though God no longer concerns himself with our sins, we’ll put  a choke on our full-throttle drive to holiness.

God is our heavenly Father…He will always love his true children. But of we are his true children we will also love to please him. It will be our delight to delight in him and know that he is delighting in us.

Our delight to delight in him and know he is delighting in us. Amen.

What Grieves God

In his sermon on Ephesians 4:30, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,” C.H. Spurgeon writes,

I think I now see the Spirit of God grieving, when you are sitting down to read a novel and there is your Bible unread…You have no time for prayer, but the Spirit sees you very active about worldly things, and having many hours to spare for relaxation and amusement. And then he is grieved because he sees that you love worldly things better than you love him.

…He will not hate his people, but he does hate their sins, and hates them all the more because they nestle in his children’s bosoms. The Spirit would not be the Spirit of truth if he could approve of that which is false in us: he would not be pure if that which is impure in us did not grieve him.

He is grieved with us mainly for our own sakes, for he knows what misery sin will cost us; he reads our sorrows in our sins… He grieves over us because he sees how much chastisement we incur, and how much communion we lose.”

God grieves because he knows what misery our sin will cost us, because he knows the sweet communion that we lose.

What a God. What a merciful, loving God.

“Grieve is a Love Word.”

In Jeremiah 2:13, this loving God, says, They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water. When we forsake God and look for satisfaction elsewhere, I think God grieves.

I close with a quote from S. Lewis Johnson,

Grieve is a love word.You don’t grieve people who don’t love you. To truly grieve a person, what is necessary is that the other person must have high regard for you. So that grieve is a word of love. That is the word that is used here: grieve not the Holy Spirit of God. 

He is grieved, because we are the objects of the love of the triune God.

To acknowledge that we can disappoint, displease or grieve God is to realize at least some of his great love for us.

Because grieve is a love word, we make it our goal to please God.

So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.

2 Corinthians 5:9

 

For more on “The Two Wills Of God” – the one that will never be broken and the one we break when we grieve him- check out John Piper’s sermon “What is the Will of God and How do We Know It?”

child-392971__340

Fading Into Glory

“Your faith will not fail while God sustains it; you are not strong enough to fall away while God is resolved to hold you.” 

J.I. Packer, Knowing God


Without Apology


The last post was about how God holds our hands. The first post four years ago was too.

Firm and kind, I often feel His hand guide mine. It helps me die to sin and side with Him and rise in newness of life. This familiar hand I know by feel.

But his hand helps in a way I know only by sightI saw it over Uncle Kevin when he faded from this life. I saw again when Uncle Tony went graceful into glory. And I saw it this week how his hand holds the hands of J.I.Packer and Rory and Joey.

And I know it sounds so sentimental, spiritual- all this hand-holding talk. But I do not apologize. Because it’s God-talk. Holding hands is the language of our Lord. He said it first. And not just once or twice. 

Take Isaiah 41. It’s laden with that language. To his frightened, fading flock God said,

Fear not, for I am with you, 
Be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, 
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them;
Those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. 
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand;
It is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” 

God said he’d hold our hand and help us when we do hard, scary things. 
Things like repent and fly from sin and fade away and die. 

Those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. 


Satan wars against us. He’d have us despair and lose heart and break faith. He’d have us puffed with pride. He’d have us think we can handle our own problems without God’s hand or that our pain is beyond help from God’s hand. That’s when pain gets proud.

Satan would have us-dismayed at fading and filled with dread. He’d have us doubt our God will hold our hand when we fade- that he doesn’t love us enough to heal us, that he’s not strong enough to fix us. Those are Satan’s weapons. 

But, Those who war against you shall be as nothing at all, God said. Saints who fade graceful rouse me to see God’s hand at work, not by feel, but by sight. Fading saints prove that nothing at all can block God’s hand. God holds the fading fast. 

Saints Fading Gracefully


Theologian J.I. Packer developed macular degeneration in December. It’s already impaired his vision so that he can’t read or write. When he announced he’d have to cancel all writing and speaking engagements, he called his condition, “a clear indication from Headquarters.” 

WORLD Magazine (2/6/16) reported, “the 89-year-old British author of more than 300 books and articles said he’s experienced enough with God not to doubt Him: ‘God knows what he’s up to.'” Packer knows whose hand hold him fast. And fades gracefully.

Then I flipped to A Star Fades Gracefully and was introduced to Joey Martin Feek and her husband Rory. The two were a country singing duo. Joey’s 2012 song “When I’m Gone” is the story of a dying wife encouraging her husband to carry on. The song has come true. 

Two years after the song came out, shortly after the birth of Indiana-an almond-eyed daughter with Down syndrome-Joey learned she had cancer. She fought hard. But after surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, the cancer is winning. 

But God still holds her fast. Hospice care began this fall. Doctors didn’t know if Joey would last to December. Jeff Koch shared their story, 

Rory called the season’s first snow “manna from heaven,” because it brought comfort during one of Joey’s darkest moments. “I want to raise our baby,” she had cried. “I want to be the one to teach her.” Yet the sight of snow shot a bolt of light into Joey’s heart as she admitted, “I didn’t think I’d get to see snow again.” She then raised her eyes upward and said, “If this is the last snow I ever see, thank you, Jesus.” 

Christmas was a treasured milestone. Rory wrote, “The prognosis was clear that there was a good chance Joey wasn’t going to be with us” for the holidays. But Christmas Day came and a smiling Joey celebrated with family-what Rory called “the best gift of all.” He wrote, “We will continue to believe and trust that what is waiting on the other side of the deep, dark wood is something even better and more beautiful than our minds can even imagine.”

Joey and Rory knew what Paul knew, fading his last years in a Roman prison. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. (2 Timothy 4:18a) So Joey and Rory weren’t bitter and Christmas was sweet. God knows what he’s up to, Packer said. Graceful on they go, held fast. 

Because no one is strong enough-or weak enough- to fall away while God is resolved to hold us. No one, no thing, no-nothing can separate us from His hand of love. 

Nothing at all. Those who war against you shall be as nothing at all.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Romans 8:38-39

So into the perilous grace of God, with all my sins go I. 

And things grow new though I grow old, though I grow old and die.