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When Opportunity Doesn’t Come Knocking


I’ve been arguing with myself a lot lately.  
Maybe you’ve had a dual like this too? It goes something like this.

Play By Play

Ready? Allez!

You so enjoy the ministry stuff you do. Counseling and teaching and online- it’s so fulfilling. Just think what could be done with better PR and another degree!  Greater opportunities for the message you love to share. 

Then Me-Two interrupts Me- usually long before that’s all out- and lunges.

If God wanted that for you, someone down here would have made it perfectly clear. When was the last time a Leadership Development Head tapped you on the shoulder? And when was the last time you got asked to speak?  Leave well enough alone. 

But I don’t. Not yet anyway.

I’ll go for it- God can always close the door, says Me.

Don’t get too big for your britches, thrusts Me-Two.

But good desires can be from God, gingerly sidesteps Me.

Mid-life crisis, jabs Me-Two.

Nah- This  degree has been on my mind since I was 23, parries Me.

But God’s using you without those extra letters behind your name, says Me-Two.

Yes, but God ordains means- including training and degrees, strikes Me.

Me-Two lunges, now, sharp and true, Be content with what you have.

I am grateful, says Me, disengaging sheepishly.

That’s about it, how the match plays out.

Get Out Of God’s Way

Enter Pastor Crawford Loritts and his right-on-point, 90-second broadcast, I just so happened to catch.

Loritts has spoken a ton and led a whole lot. But he says he’s never asked for a speaking engagement or sought a leadership position. “While that sort of self-promotion may be appropriate for others,” Loritts said, “it’s not for me. God won’t let me do that. Maybe to keep my pride in check.”

He cited Galatians 1:22-24 to show how God prepared the way for Paul, without Paul doing a bit of his own PR.  And I was still unknown in person to the churches of Judea that are in Christ. They kept hearing it said, “He who used to persecute us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy.” And they glorified God because of me.  

“They kept hearing.” The Judea Christians were hearing good words about Paul- praise of Paul-  without a bit of self-promotion from Paul. God went before Paul. He prepared the way for his messenger Paul. God set the stage and Paul obeyed the call and climbed on.

Then Loritts shared this principle: When God wants the Word to be spread, He’ll get it done. PR can be a tool in God’s hands, but we need to get out of the way and make sure what we do honors and glorifies Him. 

Me-Two was right. But it wasn’t the end.

Put in a Good Word

Because the very next day, I tuned inagain.

This time, in a message called, “Help Others Be Used By God,” Pastor Loritts explained how God raised up leaders who put in good words for him. Loritts credits his ministry opportunities to the goodness of those who came along and said, I like Crawford. Give him a chance.

Pastor Loritts described a time when this happened for Paul. And when James, Cephas, and John who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that was given unto me, they gave to me and Barnabas the right hands of fellowship that we should go to the heathen and they to those of the circumcision.  

The right hand of fellowship, explains Loritts, was an endorsement. It was leaders saying, We stand shoulder to shoulder with you. We’re gonna speak up for you and what you’re all about. Then with God’s big grace, and the leaders’ good words, Paul began a ministry that shaped the history of the world.

God uses encouragers to propel us and open doors. Their handshakes and ‘Atta boy’s” and “You go girl’s” push us on. God has marked every one of His children for usefulness, Loritts said. So let’s help them to be used.  

We all stand on the shoulders of others. Who of us can’t name a teacher (Mr. Baughn, English Lit), coach (Koceja, Track and Field), co-worker or friend (Traci, “Maybe start a blog.”) who encouraged a gifting or put in a good word? Their praise then pushed us to enter that race or hone that skill or take that class.

So don’t save your praise. When the opportunities we await don’t come knocking, we can still use what influence we do have to put in a good word where we can. 

Let’s help them be used. 

Do Unto Others: Encourage

Me and Me-Two still fight sometimes, about knocking on doors and doing more.

I could wish I had leaders opening doors for me the way Crawford Loritts had for him. I could. 

But I will do what I tell my boys to do, when they wish they’d been treated differently: Do to others as you would have them do to you. And this one’s not holy writ, but Be the change you want to see, also fits.  

The old-time pastor Matthew Henry had it right, There may be a just occasion for us to vindicate ourselves, but it does not become us to applaud ourselves. Proprio laus sordet in ore—Self-praise defiles the mouth. Or, Praise in one’s own mouth stinks. 

Self-promotion might get IN God’s way. But using your mouth to encourage others IS God’s way.

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.

Proverbs 27:2

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Praise Due

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life…

Proverbs 10:11a

Why were we created? Answer: We were made to praise. Sam Crabtree says, It’s why we have tongues and lips. We are a speaking species, and speech is for the purpose of lauding the laud-worthy. 
Just because some would make gods of their stomachs doesn’t mean we don’t feed folks. And just because some would be enslaved by man’s praise, doesn’t mean we don’t affirm.

My last blog post left some lingering questions, like: Don’t we feed off praise? Don’t we need to be affirmed? Shouldn’t we praise people? One reader bared her soul and asked, What if you come from a place where words didn’t nourish, and praise was rare, can you be starved for praise?

The last post was written to us who crave man’s praise. It stemmed from Jesus’ warning to the Pharisees- a warning to all who would seek man’s praise even over God’s: How can you believe when you love glory from man and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God

The Case For (People) Praise 

But this post is for praise-givers. For us. All of us. Because we’re all called to praise-God first, then people. Yes-I did say, We’re called to praise people. Please don’t whip out the blasphemy flag yet.

Not praising the good is bad. Tight lips in sight of others’ good is a double failure. We fail to honor God and to bless others. Our mouths were given by God to refresh and feed and heal. When we hold back our praise we starve our brothers and sisters. This should not be. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. Righteous lips feed many. 

It is incumbent on Christians to praise the good we see in others. Sam Crabtree, author of Practicing Affirmation: God-Centered Praise Of Those Who Are Not God makes the case. He even applies Matthew 25:41 to our people praise. “As you did not do it to the least of these, you did not do it to me.” If you did not affirm them, you did not affirm Christ.

Sam Crabtree explains how to praise rightly, how to praise in a God-centered way. We praise people, 

[F]or being godly, for being Christlike, by commending them for God’s glory, applauding them for doing something good in the strength God supplies (1 Peter 4:11). This is how we complete the loop when Jesus teaches us that people should let their lights so shine that others see their good works . . . and what? Glorify their Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16). 

Crabtree goes so far as to say that when we fail to pause and observe and verbalize the good we see in the lives around us, we fail to give God the glory he deserves. Them’s strong words. 

3 Right Reasons To Praise

1. We praise people because God is honored when we honor what he honors. Praising people, by calling out where God is at work in them, glorifies God. All that is commendable in people is commendable because it is an expression of Christ. And we’re to exalt Him and called to praise His wondrous works. That is why we were made his people, to declare his praises (1 Peter 2:9).

2. We praise people because we want to encourage others in doing good. What is praised gets repeated. Which might be why the kid who is starved for praise at home and school goes to the gang for applause. When we praise the good we see in others, as echoes and reflections of Jesus Christ himself, people are affirmed. They feel loved and fed. And odds are they’ll seek to repeat that good.

3. We praise people because praising the good in others brings us joy and renews us. We become sensitized to see the good, and our minds are renewed. What’s more, we lift the morale and build relationships. All our relationships- at work and at home, in friendship and marriage- benefit when we shout out what’s good. Our mouths become fountains and out joy flows.

Plus A Perk: You gain a hearing. People who practice praising build a platform from which to be heard if criticism must needs come. But if you’re a Ms. Nitpick or Mr. Fault-finder your hard words, no matter how well-intended, will likely fall flat to the ground. Calvin wrote, We readily believe those whom we know to be desirous of our welfare…Our goodwill…is made manifest by commending them when they reflect Christ. Praise earns trust.

How To Do Praise Right

Praising people the best way, is commending the qualities of Jesus in them. It is not complimenting built-in features-her Shirley Temple curls or his Ironman muscles-and it’s not praising what’s outside either- his new Trek, her new Coach. And we know it’s not fuzzy platitudes. Nice job! and Great work! don’t cut it. 
It’s none of these. It’s not shout-outs for what came natural or praise for what money can buy. And definitely not showering vague compliments. 
Christian affirmation is both precise and tied to Christ. Praising the praiseworthy means noticing the qualities of Jesus alive in those around you. We can think of this kind of praising people as a sort of horizontal version of worshiping God-noticing and naming his divine attributes, his righteousness and holiness and power and love. 

We are on the look-out for the good, true, beautiful things in people and when we spot them, we name them. We don’t let these God-sightings pass. We say, That is good! Keep that up. Like that Anna Cumins’ poem, Don’t save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead; do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead. 
But to praise the praiseworthy, we must know what is praiseworthy. If we want spot a rose-breasted grosbeak, we’ve got to know what a rose-breasted grosbeak looks like. To spot the good, we’ve got to know God who is the source of all good. Knowing God and his Word tunes our hearts to sing his praise when we see goodness echoed in his creatures.

But beware of this wily wrong reason to praise.

Be Wary Of Flattery

Flattery is excessive or insincere praise given for the praiser’s own gain. Flattery is selfish. And it can hurt the receiver. Proverbs 26:28 says, “A flattering mouth works ruin.” How can praise a genuinely good thing in another without working their ruin? And how can we be sure we’re offering God-honoring praise and not flattering?

Here’s a straight answer from an Ask Pastor John podcast,

The issue is whether it is calculated to achieve some purpose that is not rooted in the authentic, spontaneous delight that we take in the virtue we are praising. It is the opposite of calculation. It is spontaneous. C.S. Lewis, in one of my favorite quotes, says, “We delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not only expresses, but completes the enjoyment. It is its appointed consummation.” 

We should not shrink from affirming people. The second we’re struck by the commendable we should commend it. Because, affirming people that way is affirming God at work in them, and God wants to be praised for his work. 

On the Look-Out for Praise Due

Not only does he want to be praised, God himself models people praise. He names Noah as righteous (Genesis 7:1). He calls Solomon “very great” and “majestic” (1 Chronicles 29:25). Jesus commends the woman of great faith (Matthew 15:28), marvels at the faith of the centurion (Luke 7:9), affirms Nathaniel for his honesty (John 1:47), to name a few. 

We should praise people, too. But in a God-centered way. woman who fears the Lord is to be praisedThis way is grounded in the fact that if people do anything commendable, it was God who brought it about. God is at work both to will and to act according to his good purpose. He’s at work in people around you. So be on the look-out.

  • When you see a friend’s attention to detail, commend it. Say, Wow! You were so thoughtful as you planned this lesson. Our God loves order, and you planned this so well. 
  • When you spot Sarah whose growing self-control said no, shout it out. Say, Way to go! I saw you pass up those treats for the joy ahead. The Spirit’s at work in you.
  • When you see Pete persisting with the Jr. Highs at youth group, praise him. Say, You must have the patience of Job to let those 13 year olds pelt you with popcorn. God at work in you. Bravo!
  • When you see your son kneel and help a kid who tripped and skinned his knee, affirm him. Say, Sam, I am so proud of how you are cared for Dan. That was like Jesus. He cares for you.
  • When a niece tells the truth when it’s hard, shout it out. Say, Lucy, you acted like Jesus just now. You told the truth. Jesus was full of grace and truth. That was impressive. 
This is not flattery. It’s not trading compliments and earning Brownie points. We see something good and rejoice and give praise. In doing so, we honor God and we encourage ongoing good in others and we are transformed. And the mouth of the righteous becomes a fountain of life. 

What’s At Stake

I’ll let master affirmer, Sam Crabtree take us home. Affirmation, he says, is the purpose of the universe-specifically affirmation of God.   

If the praise with which we commend people is God-centered, it doesn’t subtract from the praise owed to God, but adds to it. In fact, the earnest desire to see God receive the praise he deserves will serve to increase the desire to praise people when they reflect his character. 

What if we don’t affirm people when they reflect the work of God in them? God gets robbed of praise he deserves, and they fail to gain the encouragement that would be so motivating to them. Further, morale is drained, and we become presumptuous bad-tempered cranks who take God’s work for granted.

A lot is at stake in our praise. Let’s not rob God. And let’s not starve his body around us. All truth is God’s truth, and so is all goodness and beauty- so let’s call those out. Since all that is truly praiseworthy is in Christ, when we praise those qualities in people, we praise the God from whom all blessings flow

Yes, yes and yes, readers- praise on. We are light-shining, image-bearers designed to reflect God’s glory and when we praise people rightly it honors God. Then from our mouths refreshing, life-giving fountains flow.

Lord God, help me honor you and bless others by affirming the work you are doing in them. 
Help me commend what is commendable in those around me so that you, Heavenly Father, get more glory. 
Help me give praise when it is due and so exalt you. 
Amen. 

The lips of the righteous feed many…
Proverbs 10:21a